Question:   My fiancé needs debt management help. Is it a good idea to pay off my girlfriend’s (or boyfriend’s) debt if I know we’re going to marry?

Answer:      If your partner needs help in the area of personal finance and you are not yet married, do NOT pay off the debt for them.

Everyone’s debt is their own unless they have co-signed with another person. When you co-sign, you are agreeing to be fully accountable for paying off the debt (car loan, credit card, etc.) should the primary signer fail to do so.

There is no option to back out or split the liability; you are legally bound to pay the entire balance of the debt. However, since in this case you are not a co-signer, there is no reason whatsoever for you to pay the debt at this time.

If your fiancé desires to find debt management help, then assist your partner in finding it. Money trouble now may mean money trouble down the road after you marry, so it’s a good idea to begin talking about money issues and taking steps to address any concerns.

It may be difficult to hear, but relationships are hardly – if ever – without some level of turmoil. If you pay off the debt now and for some unknown reason the marriage is called off, you have no recourse for the money you’ve paid.

Most likely, you feel 100% certain that your partner would never do this to you, and you’re probably right, but – it happens. Besides, paying someone else’s debt is just not good business, no matter who it is. Unless you are doing it strictly as a gift, with no strings attached.

Ask yourself if paying off the debt helps or hurts the individual. Are you helping them, or simply enabling bad behavior?

Your future spouse needs to learn how to properly manage his or her finances. Marriage is a huge leap – weddings alone cost a great deal of money these days. Not knowing how to pay for it, or borrowing too much money and not knowing how to manage it will quickly cause problems.

Debt management help is available in many places. Both of you can use the information to solve current problems as well as learn how to handle issues that may crop up in the future. Your local church may be a good place to start, offering not only debt management help, but premarital counseling in other areas as well, which can help you understand each other better and your overall goals in life.

Other source might include a local business association or your CPA.

Remember that you are planning a life together, and you both know that money is an important aspect of managing your life. Figuring out how to handle money issues together now will give you both a clear idea of each others expectations and philosophies around money issues.

For now, don’t pay your partner’s debt for them. Rather, be there to help and support them as they learn to do it on their own. Once you marry, then together you can decide on the next step to take with your combined finances.

» Is there some sort of stolen identify program available? Someone has stolen my identity and has opened accounts in my name – what can I do?
Every good stolen identify program tells you to immediately contact all three major credit bureaus to place a fraud alert on your account. This way no other accounts can be opened in your name without your specific approval.

» Are debt counselors in your future? What should couples know about money before they marry?
If you and your future spouse have not fully discussed view on finances, be sure to cover the topic in detail, as well as many other important issues, before you make the final leap into holy matrimony.

» How do I finally convince my spouse how bad credit card debt is to our financial future?
Do not attempt to confront your spouse, Instead, approach in the spirit of wanting to educate. Let the numbers do the talking.

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