Question:   We’ve tried debt management programs, but my spouse will never change. The money is spent as quickly as it is received. Is it time to file for divorce?

Answer:      Only you can determine if it is time to end the marriage. If debt management attempts have failed, counseling may be a necessary option. In any marriage, or relationship, communication is the key to success.

Some people are simply childish when it comes to finances. They do not like the idea of being controlled, being on a budget, or being told they cannot have something they want.

This is one of the times when having your spouse on a separate account, unable to access the main account, could come in handy. If your spouse has his or her own account, they may also see that they are spending money much too quickly. The shock factor may work in your favor, but this approach does not substitute for good professional counseling.

In critical cases, a spouse’s spending may be more of an addiction. If you believe this to be true in your case, you should seek counseling immediately. Counseling can offer a facilitator that allows both of you to speak openly and avoid getting into an argument that can quickly make a bad situation worse.

You can also seek out debt management programs in order to help show your spouse how to better manage money and repay what they may already owe.

If your spouse refuses to go to counseling, you should consider going on your own in order to learn better ways of coping. This will make you better informed and increase your confidence on how to make a final decision whether or not to continue in the relationship.

These will be difficult times. The only way things will get better is if your spouse realizes his or her mistakes and agrees to work with you to seek out ways to correct the problems in the relationship.

You may try multiple ways of solving the problem as suggested by your counselor, but ultimately, saving the marriage will be up to both you and your partner. If they are unwilling to look at debt management programs, take counseling, and stop their over-spending, then the outlook for your financial future is in questions.

Money issues are the most common factors of divorce and unless changes are made, you may find yourself in an unenviable position.

When you do seek out debt management programs, make sure you deal with someone who has a good deal of experience in this area. Programs often vary in their ability to deal with extreme cases. Because this is such a sensitive subject, you will want to meet with people who can provide proven and realistic advice.

Ultimately, it is your decision as to when to end a relationship. Hopefully, your spouse will realize the destructive consequences of their over-spending and join you in the fight to get your finances, and your relationship, back on the right path.

» If I marry a guy with bad debt, does my debt also go bad once we are married?
Be sure that your future husband begins reading debt relief information for the purpose of addressing his bad debt and getting his finances back on track.

» Is having separate checking accounts a good idea?
Some people tend to think that a request for separate checking accounts means one person does not trust the other financially. Of course, this is often far from the truth.

» I am feeling guilty about spending money that I didn’t tell my spouse about, what should I do?
Getting the lie out in the open will be in everyone’s best interest. Once it is out on the table, only then can you effectively deal with it.

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